amethysto

Are grape tomatoes and cherry tomatoes the same thing?  I don't suppose that it matters, because the only place I like tomatoes is in my chicken burrito from Chipotle.

Damn.  Now I'm hungry.

The reason that I feel like a tomato is because I'm ridiculously, disgustingly sunburnt.  I look like I was deep fried by UV rays all over my arms and legs, and I have one of those rings around my eyes from where I got burnt around my sunglasses.  Veeeeeery attractive. 

I had a fun day today in spite of the fact that I've made myself about 25% more likely to develop skin cancer.  (I made that statistic up).  The restaurant I work for had a company picnic type dealio at Zoombezi Bay, which, in case you don't live in central Ohio, is a water park.  I got in for free and got free food, which is always wonderful.

Besides my scorched skin, the only downside is that we left about three hours earlier than planned because the lines for the water slides were so ridiculously long.  We did get to go on the Cyclone, which is probably the funnest (yes, I did just make up that word) slide there.  I'm kind of weird because I'm completely in love with water slides and I always want them to be bigger and faster, and yet roller coasters scare me. 

Another annoying thing is that the girls I went with, who are acquiantances from work, were so freaking prissy.  Every other sentence out of their mouths was a complaint:  "My feet hurt," "It's soooo hot out here," "I'm getting wet!"  Well NO SHIT.  You're going to get wet, it's a freaking WATER PARK.  I hate people who suck the fun out of stuff like that.  Whenever I experience something, I like to experience it fully.  When I go to a water park, I want to look like a drowned rat when I leave.  End rant of the day.

Hmm, what else is new in my life?  I leave for college in 24 days.  AAAAAAAAHHHHHH. 

Well, I'm off to nurse my sunburns.  Toodles!

I had an absolutely delightful day today arguing with my mom about my college education.  I'm going to ND in less than a month, and we are just now realizing that there's no way in hell I'll be able to eat next year with all the other crap I have to pay for.  I owe $2,009.50 by August 12, then another $2,500 in January.  We didn't get the loan we wanted, so everything is coming out of my pocket.

I work as a waitress at a freaking restaurant right now, and who knows if I'll even get a job in the fall.  I can manage the first payment, but just barely.  I have about $2,500 saved up right now, but I need to buy textbooks and dorm stuff as well.  Money will be very tight this fall, but it'll be manageable.  But I have no idea how I'm going to save up $2,500 by January.  Oh well.  I guess I'll confront that problem when it comes.

In all honesty, what I have to pay is very modest.  Scholarships and grants covered most of the tuition, for which I am very grateful.  But I'm still allowed to bitch about what they didn't cover, right?  I'm going to be broke as hell next year. 

I have some friends who know people who could get me hooked up as a drug dealer, if it comes to that.  My friend Scott and I are setting up a prostitute business as well, so that should help.

On a side note, I really need to start packing.  Or at least sort through all the random junk I have lying around in my room.

By the way, I'm totally kidding about the drug dealing and prostitution.  Or am I?

No, really, I am.

I'm fairly certain that the only people who will ever see this journal are the ones that click on my homepage link on my Fictionpress profile, because that's the only place I'm most likely going to advertise it. 

I wish I had the urge to finish my story Reign of Glory, but I honestly just haven't felt like it lately.  I had to force myself to write the last few chapters, but once I was started, I wanted to finish.  That's how it is with all of my schoolwork too: the hardest part is getting started, and once I do, it will get done, and done well. 

I don't know how I ever became a valedictorian.  I have the worst procrastination problem and the laziest work ethic ever.

I feel like writing, but I want to write about my life more than I want to write about my characters' lives. Hence the reason for getting this Livejournal.  I don't care if anyone ever reads it. 

On a different, though related, note, I really want a Macbook.  The laptop I have now is fine, but Macbooks are so small and awesome.  I'm way too cheap to actually buy one any time in the near future, though.  Not with having to pay for all my dorm stuff, textbooks, and tuition.  Gaaah.

I feel like I'm in a bit of a conundrum because I really need money but I don't want to work more than four days a week.  I wish I wasn't so fucking lazy.  It's not exactly my fault, however, because I do have insomnia to use as an excuse.  I haven't been able to sleep more than five hours a night the past week without the help of Tylenol PM.  Drugs are fun :)

Whoa, just kidding.  I do not endorse the use of illegal drugs.  I think they're revolting.  Only legal drugs are fun. 

What was the point of this entry?  I really don't know.  I'm such a freaking random person.

It finally hit me today that I'm going to college in almost exactly one month.  What the hell happened to summer?!?!?!

I'm excited and I know that it's going to be amazing, but I can't help thinking about the way things could have been.  This past year has been filled with so much drama between my best guy friend and me.  I've liked him as more than a friend since November, and he told me that he had feelings for me too.  The problem was that he had a psychotic girlfriend who hated my guts, who kept us apart for so long because he refused to hurt her feelings.  I cried so much over this situation, because it seemed so unfair to me that he would rather be with a girl who hurt him physically and emotionally than with me.

He finally ended things with her in March.  He kissed me for the first time on May 16 (is it weird that I remember the exact date?) but our relationship was rocky because he was still friends with his ex and even though he told me that he wanted to be with me, I still had the feeling that he wasn't over her.  He kept putting her feelings before mine, and eventually I couldn't take it.  We fought nearly every day, and I finally told him to get back with her like he obviously wanted to and leave me the hell alone. 

Just a side note on this girl.  Now, I'm not usually a mean person.  I try to see the best in everyone.  I genuinely want to be friends with almost everyone I meet.  But I can't stand her.  She is emotionally unstable and vents her anger at the world by belittling and dominating other people, especially my BGF.  I can't stand the way she treated him while they were together, and I never, ever want him to go through that again.

Anyway, this past week, he made me incredibly proud of him.  He FINALLY stood up for himself and told her that he didn't want anything to do with her. There was no teary scene of forgiveness, no heart-breaking reunion.  I just went to his house in the middle of the night and told him that I loved him.  I didn't expect him to say it back.

I care about him so much, but now we're never going to get the chance to be together because I leave in a month.  We're going to make the most of the time we have together, but the cold, hard truth is that it can't last. 

He played me the guitar tab for "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab For Cutie today and it finally hit me that I had to say good-bye so soon.  It's going to be so hard.

And that is why I'm an emotional wreck right now.  That or PMS.

I'm probably going to delete this entry later because it's too personal.  I know I'm going to be embarrassed. 

I had the weirdest freaking night ever.  If someone I barely know ever asks me or any of my friends to give them a ride to some mysterious location ever again, I'm going to tell them to take a flipping bus. 

I don't want to go into details, but suffice it to say that driving around a bad neighborhood at 2 in the morning is NEVER a good idea, especially when you're accompanied by a random, half-stoned man you met last week who thinks it's a good idea to leave you and your friend parked in a drug dealer's driveway for a half hour. 

Holy crapsicles, I was scared shitless.  I think I was mistaken for a narc at one point, which is kind of hilarious given that I'm a preppy-looking girl, my friend is a wimpy-looking boy, and we were sitting in the car listening to oldies and clinging to each other like four year olds. 

Actually, I don't think Matt was as terrified as I was.  I asked him if he would be scared if someone held a gun to his head and demanded that he give up his car, and he said that that wouldn't happen because we "weren't doing anything."  He's going to get himself killed one day because he's way too damn nice for his own good, the optimistic lunatic. 

I love him to death.  He's sooooo brave.  "drools*

Whoa, just kidding.  Awkward. 

Yeah, but anyway, I'm pretty sure I witnessed a drug deal last night.  It was interesting.